I don’t know where my head is at… I’m here, I’m there. It’s just a muddled mess and I feel I’m on auto pilot without a destination. I guess I’m just tired. I created this blog so that I could – hopefully – clear out the mess wracking my brain so that – hopefully – I can function without getting lost in thought.
It’s nothing major. I’m just worried about the exact same things that everyone worries about. Money. My marriage. My kid. My career. Finishing my degree. My step-kids… and with that, my step-kid’s neurotic mother. Maybe if I hadn’t jumped into family life at such an early age, this type of “muddlement” wouldn’t have been so drastic. However, given my limited life experience (I’m only a babe of 26, after all), things tend to build up.
I love my life – don’t get me wrong – and my family is so amazingly beautiful. My husband is really the exact type of partner that a worry-wort like me needs. He’s a joker. A lover. He’s 14 year older than I am, but acts as though he was 14 years younger. Our son is the light of my life – he’s 2… and perfect. My step kids… Well, our relationship is a difficult one. Obviously they wish that mommy and daddy were still together, and it’s hard for a 10 year-old and an 8 year-old to deal with a new baby brother. Their mother doesn’t help either, and I’m finding myself growing more and more frustrated (and in some ways, intrigued) by the way she acts and communicates with us.
In any case, my mind is running a million miles a minute and I just get need to release a little tension via keyboard, if you get my meaning. I don’t expect much in return – just a place to write down my thoughts… but even this short post has been rather cathartic.